Divorcing has never been easy, and it becomes even more sensitive when children are involved. As you deal with the pain and emotional torture, your children will also be battling various issues. It’s essential to understand the impact of divorce on kids to help them get over it and become healthy adults.
In the roundup articles below, you will learn how parental divorce can affect young children and adolescents. The articles enlighten you on the impact of divorce on your children’s behavior. As
you read on, you will know how best to prepare them for the process.
Basically, divorce tends to intensify the child’s dependence, and it tends to accelerate the adolescent’s independence; it often elicits a more regressive response in the child and a more aggressive response in the adolescent. For the young child, divorce shakes trust in dependency on parents who now behave in an extremely undependable way. Convincing a young child of the permanence of divorce can be hard when his intense longing fantasizes that somehow, someway, mom and dad will be living back together again someday. Regression to an earlier dependency can partly be an effort to elicit parental concern, bringing them close when divorce has pulled each of them further away-the resident parent is now busier and more preoccupied, the absent parent is simply less available because of being less around. For the parent who divorces with an adolescent, the young person’s increased dedication to self-interest must be harnessed by insisting on increased responsibility as more separation and independence from family occurs.
Young adult children of divorce can have some lasting divorce issues to deal with in the process of forming later love relationships of their own. The child of divorce tends to hold on to parents more; the adolescent of divorce tends to increasingly let parents go. While parental divorce during a young person’s childhood can slow growth down as holding on to secure attachment is increased; during adolescence, when detachment is now underway, divorce can accelerate teenagers letting go in pursuit of growing up and acting more independent. There can be discomfort with conflict, avoiding or stopping it, because it was dangerous discord that ended the parental marriage, or because there was ongoing hostility after the divorce between parents who never emotionally reconciled their differences. In the lives of adolescents, parental divorce is usually a formative event.
Academically, kids going through a divorce may earn lower grades and even face a higher dropout rate compared to their peers. These effects may be seen as early as age 6 but may be more noticeable as kids reach the ages of 13 to 18 years old. While body mass index in kids doesn’t immediately show an impact, the BMI over time may be “Significantly” higher than children who haven’t gone through a divorce. While these issues can impact kids of any age, they tend to be more prominent with kids ages 11 years and older. Plus, not all kids see negative effects from divorce.
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